all i gotta do is put my ear to the wall
being petty over time becomes grating. but it signifies at least a half-ass vested interest in matters.

so much misfortune and i perpetuate their suffering.
because it's all one big hamster wheel and it doesn't even matter if the hamster dies.
the wheel creaks on, inevitably. like this insect on my screen,that i'm too lazy/vegan to crush.

When I’m alone”—the words tripped off his tongue

As if to be alone were nothing strange.

“When I was young,” he said; “when I was young….”

just overcome by it all.
investment in the trivial is ingrained but chip away my masterpiece and there's nothing left to loathe.

this is going to sound nauseatingly melodramatic in a few years, i can tell.

and i want to away but we know where those thoughts have led to in recent years.

i keep having companion dreams, it's torturous.
like quiet lanky fellows dancing in my head. stop it.


it's funny how comforting screaming your lungs out is.
and the lack of places to do so explains everything.